December 30, 2009
Swann makes it hard to hate England
Like the cute Jack Russell puppy that just pissed on your carpet and ate your new lingerie, Graeme Swann makes it ahrd to hate England for the ass-raping they just gave South Africa.
Why? Because he has bee a revelation in the England squad. Not only does he actually set his own field and can he bat little when it matters he also just seems like an okay-ish bloke. Out of all the Poms (barring Ian Bell because no matter what they say I am convinced he is a leprechaun from Ireland) he is the guy I’d most like to sit down and have a beer with. Swann brings an element of fun to cricket and while some of his Tweets have led us to believe that he is actually also a pompous ass like the rest of them he just seems like he could be a good mate.
He once said that “he was running around like an idiot” when he was on a hat-trick for the second time in Tests.
Al Cook needs a hug and to scrub that masacara off his face. The South African-Englishmen need a kick in the bollocks, Paul Collingwood seems boring and would put me to sleep, Stu Broad and James Anderson need to have their egos with their own gravitational pulls blown up but Swann makes me want to down a bottle of whiskey, grab him around the neck and say “oi mate, let bygones be bygones eh?”
I am pissed off with South Africa. No, I am fucking pissed off with South Africa. But more on that later, or tomorrow. They’re shit and I just don’t see them winning this series.
tales from the offside 