January 19, 2010
Leaving the nest
Dear readers,
Firstly, let me apologize for the lack of posts as of late. I know that there’s been a plenty to blog about but there have been some developments that have limited me to actually posting on here.
I’ll be moving my thoughts over to http://www.paddlesweep.net and joining Ankit as a co-blogger.
Tales from the offside will remain, though – but it’ll probably be a more personal blogging site with random thoughts on life in general.
If you are subscribed – then please head over to http://www.paddlesweep.net. I know that site looks a bit empty at the moment but there were regional issues with the original paddlesweep.in
It has all been sorted now, though and you shouldn’t experience any problems. I look forward to seeing you all at my new home.
Much love
Ms Print
xoxo
January 13, 2010
They don’t collapse like they used to…
Sit down, breathe and imagine this:
ODI: 54 all out.
Top score: 11.
Win by 245 runs.
Read the rest here
January 9, 2010
An Ode to Newlands, Cricket and the Mountain
There are few places in the world as special as Cape Town, South Africa. While all the clichés about the beautiful mountain in your backyard, the wild South-Easter and Long Street are true, there is one special place in the Southern Suburbs of the Cape which epitomizes the greatness of the Mother City.
Read the rest here…
Yes, it’s a happy post.
January 8, 2010
Hate to say I told you so.
On the fifth day at Newlands, Captain Lard gave to me…
…the ghost of Centurion.
…more disappointment.
…lack of leadership.
…and another reason to believe he is the wrong man for the job.
While some might argue that the Fat Captain’s declaration was spot on since there was “more than enough time to bowl England out” I totally disagree. More than enough time? Why didn’t we then?
Not attacking enough, Fat Captain, have you not learnt anything from the Australian midget?
Also, why did it take so long for you to start bowling the spinners? Pressure, pressure, pressure. It wasn’t turned into some sort of cooker for no reason.
I am going to laugh when we lose to England in our own backyard and everybody starts clutching at straws for reasons why we lost.
January 7, 2010
On the fourth day at Newlands Captain Lard gave to me…
…out off a no ball(
(missing out on his double century).
….declared on the wrong score.
…some false hope.
and lulled me into a false sense of security.
I also ran into Luke Wright and nearly fainted, I am a cricket groupie.
I’ll eat my hat if the Saffas take the required wickets before close of play. And I hate hats.
January 6, 2010
Just a quick punt
I know I’ve been neglecting the blog. I blame the fcked up hours I’ve worked. So I just have a favour to ask.
Please vote for me in the Shorty Awards by going here:
http://shortyawards.com/category/sports
I am mspr1nt on Twitter.
Self promotion is cool.
Biff is like the abusive boyfriend who still remembers birthdays and anniversaries. He’s a lot like KP, actually. Plays those really huge innings when they really, really matter and then gets along with being okay and average most of the other time.
How did Pakistan lose? How long before the politicians cry match fixing. Especially with all those catches dropped behind the stumps. Hmmm
Shane Watson is making the 90s the new 100.
January 2, 2010
Where’s mum, Mitchy?
Here’s to hoping there’ll be no more squabbles between Mitchy’s karate champ wifey and his mum.
On the bright side: cutie pie Mohammed Aamer has been ruled out of the second Test. I hope Australia bowl Pakistan out cheaply and get this over and done with in three days.
December 30, 2009
Swann makes it hard to hate England
Like the cute Jack Russell puppy that just pissed on your carpet and ate your new lingerie, Graeme Swann makes it ahrd to hate England for the ass-raping they just gave South Africa.
Why? Because he has bee a revelation in the England squad. Not only does he actually set his own field and can he bat little when it matters he also just seems like an okay-ish bloke. Out of all the Poms (barring Ian Bell because no matter what they say I am convinced he is a leprechaun from Ireland) he is the guy I’d most like to sit down and have a beer with. Swann brings an element of fun to cricket and while some of his Tweets have led us to believe that he is actually also a pompous ass like the rest of them he just seems like he could be a good mate.
He once said that “he was running around like an idiot” when he was on a hat-trick for the second time in Tests.
Al Cook needs a hug and to scrub that masacara off his face. The South African-Englishmen need a kick in the bollocks, Paul Collingwood seems boring and would put me to sleep, Stu Broad and James Anderson need to have their egos with their own gravitational pulls blown up but Swann makes me want to down a bottle of whiskey, grab him around the neck and say “oi mate, let bygones be bygones eh?”
I am pissed off with South Africa. No, I am fucking pissed off with South Africa. But more on that later, or tomorrow. They’re shit and I just don’t see them winning this series.
December 28, 2009
Why the match in Dehli was really abandoned
One of the advantages of my job is that we get a lot of random e-mails from random people.
Here’s one.
Why was the match between India vs Sri Lanka was ABANDONED
This report is based on as per Numerology: India (Jupiter) as per numeric value Sri Lanka (Mars) as per numeric value
Date of the match 27th (Mars) Number But the compound number is 27, combination of Moon and ketu, forming lunar eclipse,(Chandra graham)
And the fate number was 27-12-2009 = 23 (Mercury) Played at New Delhi (Ketu) Year 2009 (moon)
I wish to invite the readers, and give their valuable comments. But according to me the match was disrupted due to MOON ESCLIPES (CHANDRA GRAHAN) GIVING A BAD REPUTATION.
BINODE KRIPALANI 09831664581
But of course, it makes perfect sense now.
tales from the offside 
December 29, 2009
Something for the ladies PT2
Posted in cricket tagged crap south african bowling line up, cricket charity campaign, England in South Africa 2009, Free online cricket commentary, half naked cricketers, naked Alastair Cook, naked James Anderson, naked Stuart Broad, South Africa England Durban, Test Match Sofa at 16:21 by mspr1nt
Following a discussion on the on air commentary at Test Match Sofa and getting a friend of mine who has no interest in cricket whatsoever go: “Oh my god! I now know why you watch it!” after she saw the pictures of Mitchell Johnson for this year’s Men Of Cricket calender, I had to go and dig up this gem.
Click to enlarge. The picture that is. They did this for a Cosmo centrefold. I only really fancy Jimmy, to be honest. Oh and the Proteas have now proven that they have the most one-dimensional and average bowling attack out of all the Test nations. The batsman, evidently, aren’t good at leaving anything. Maybe you should bowl pies (the ones you can actually eat) at Kallis rather? He won’t leave that. Time to try and find a bowling revelation, somewhere.
And for a bowling line-up as piss poor as South Africa’s to bowl our batsmen into form like we did with Al Cook and Ian Bell.
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